"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."- Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759.

Stiles: American history is beginning to resemble a text book case of "borderline personality disorder." How did Americans morph from despotic rapscallions, hell-bent on Manifest (read: corporate) Destiny, into a nation of enlightened Do-gooders, intent on injecting our unique brand of democracy throughout the World’s nether-regions? (Answer: A long, slow drip of B vitamins, antibiotics, and constitutional amendments.)

Perhaps we’re just maniacally pursuing the slippery "American Dream" - dressing up our latest version of realpolitik in a slick, post-modern costume, merrily dreaming of World Order and International Security. But what’s the net benefit of tight-ass security if we all lose our soul in the process?

Of all the euphemistically-called "modern" nations, America has one of the more flaky records on file. Anyone not engaged in cyclothymic denial is forced to acknowledge the squirrelly underbelly of our questionable heritage, starting with abuse of the local inhabitants, land rape, thievery, manslaughter, carpet bagging, brainwashing, graft, corruption, greed, and general ole shitty behavior. And, so as not to be awash in the Truth, our media panders to those that own them [advertisers] while the sheep sit at home nibbling pizza and worrying about whether to snag that new Toyota Land Cruiser or the Chevy Suburban.

This does not fit the definition of sane behavior. It hardly requires a PhD to figure out that the ole ship is listing badly (to starboard). But we maintain our course, eternally peering outward for salvation from woes of our own making. Hawks and Doves - it matters little, the myth being more important than the meat, so to speak. Too bad political parties aren’t more party and less political.

What do we suppose Mr.& Mrs. Family Values might say if asked to define what, exactly, the American Dream is all about? Freedom? To do what: Drive 4x4 Hummers over the landscape? Gobble saturated fat and stare at the tube while popping anti-depressants? Football, NASCAR, Tommy Hilfiger jeans, a yardman in every yard, Fall fashion specials, weekend Church salvation, suburban mall-walking, Reality TV, tanning booth bikini lines, $200 basketball shoes, hair implants, liposuction, plastic mammary glands, money market bingo, and whatever else the Baby Boomers are keen on this season? Alas……

Folks like me hopelessly cling to a past where the air was still oxygen, water didn’t arrive in designer bottles, traffic was a problem you only saw on TV shows made in Los Angeles, wilderness wasn’t a federal regulatory definition, eating fish didn’t mean swallowing mercury, going out to dinner didn’t involve a "drive-thru", and a Recreational Vehicle meant the backseat of dad’s station wagon.

As the song says "Them good ole daze are through."

And don’t forget Big Brother. You remember him: the guy looking over our proverbial shoulders, making sure the flock doesn’t wander too far off the beaten path (a path charted by Dick Cheney and the CEOs of the pan-economy).

"Be the first on your block to be fitted for your unisex Global Uniform!" Ahoy!

Let’s face it, Big Brother is no longer a 2-dimensional silver screen fictional ideologue; hell no, BB is probably monitoring the Zephyr right now, hoping Stiles will cross the proverbial no-no line set forth in the American Patriot Act. And then what? Off to a squeaky clean little work camp for those who refuse to surrender free speech? Community Service for one foolish enough to question Alberto R. Gonzales’ infinite wisdom? Even cartoons may not be safe from the Lip Zippers. Beware, oh worthy editor; better start looking for land with a deep cave and some used radar equipment.

By today’s standards, Thomas Jefferson would be considered a dangerous rogue in need of re-education (as Chairman Mao might call it). Anybody bold enough to actually practice what Jefferson preached would see Guantanamo Bay faster than an F-16 zipping over Baghdad. Or is that Tehran? Pyongyang?

How about this tidbit from the author of the Declaration of Independence: "The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. I like a little rebellion now and then. It is like a storm in the atmosphere." -Thomas Jefferson to Abigail Adams, 1787. You tell em, Tom!

It’s hard to believe we’ve gone from the open, carefree culture of the late 1960s to where we are today –– the most self-centered, unspiritual, whining, juvenile, ego-consumed nation on Earth. We pretend to be horrified by the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, yet blindly repeat the story scene for scene. Don’’t get me wrong; I like lewd and lascivious primate behavior. But smart monkeys take pains not to spoil the proverbial nest, to coin a phrase.

The recent transitory burp of neo-patriotic zeal we’re witnessing is nothing new, just more sinister than we’re used to. The pendulum swings and so do the monkeys. Today its Republican stew; tomorrow a Liberal pie. Too bad neither right not left makes a dime’s worth of sense; they’re both gridlocked into patterns of neurosis ("stupid and wrongheaded behavior to the detriment of oneself") and can’t fess up to the fact that a cult of Economy is a cul de sac. One can’ help but be reminded of President Jimmy Carter’s infamous "malaise speech." Of course, the fact that the Peanut President was correct didn’t seem to penetrate the American consciousness, then or now. And look where it got him: A free cab back to Plains and a box of candy from a man who knew monkey’s up close: Ronald Regan, the King of Bonzo.

Can you imagine an America (scantily) populated with educated folks, informed by credible information, and encouraged to think for themselves? Folks not pre-programmed to base their culture on disposable trinkets and plastic fashions? The America Ed Abbey had in mind when he said "If America could be, once again, a nation of self-reliant farmers, craftsmen, hunters, ranchers, and artists, then the rich would have little power to dominate others. Neither to serve nor to rule: That was the American dream."

Instead, it’s getting easier to see what the Founding Fathers (and Mothers) had in mind when they said "We’ve given you liberty; now let’’s see if you can keep it." (Actually, I think that was Ben Franklin, who wouldn’t last 12 minutes in Dick Cheney’s new America.).

Let’s recall that we reside in a country that wantonly trashed some mighty fine folks, the Cheyenne, Sioux, Cherokee, and Navaho (for starters), enslaved countless Africans in the name of productivity ("brute labor"), deprived women the right to vote until the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920, incarcerated Japanese-Americans during WWII, and tolerated the McCarthy commie-witch hunts under the rubric of all things red, white, and blue.

Remember this, friends and neighbors: any nation that can - and does - lock up its own citizens in the name of political ideology should be treated at arm’’s length. Today the terrorists; tomorrow it might be you (or me, more than likely if I keep this up. Stiles, you are paying for my legal fees, eh?).

Of course, the game only gets weirder as we increasingly add more people to the mix. Too many rats in the cage always creates a bloody experiment. Thus, the first axiom should be: "The fewer people, the more freedom." The second axiom might follow: "It’’s later than you think."

Stay tuned, y’all. There’s more to the story ……..

Mudd