Dear Jim,

It was a real blast celebrating my 119th birthday last week up on Island In The Sky. I can't believe we actually got a permit to camp up there! Man, it was good to be back in the neighborhood. As you've heard me bitch time and time again, it's been over twenty years since I won a camp-site in the Canyonlands National Park lottery. And what a deal, too, at only $250 a night use fee. Since they only have 400 campsites on The Island In The Sky, it was nice to finally be in a quiet, un-crowded place, you know? Beats the underground camping garages up at Yellowstone Park. I ain't a'goin' back there until they let Yellowstone Falls back into the canyon and stop regulating Old Faithful with an on/off switch.

As for me, I'm the same wrinkled geezer I always was, but thanks to modern medicine and President Jebediah Bush Jr.'s fabulous social security program, I'm flush with both energy and cash. I never thought I'd make it this far, but those sports medicine freaks in Moab are to thank. Rim Cyclery Osteopathy and Sports Clinic renewed my joints, Eddie McStiff gave me a new kidney and I'm biking more aggressively in more extreme terrain than ever before. It's really nice to see the Lathrop Trail paved for motorized access (my Grand-maw loves toolin' up and down the Lathrop Trail in her ATV, she can go from rim to river and back in only an hour!) and the tram down Murphy Point is a nice addition, although I'm not sure Grandview Point is the right place for a strip-mall. But the view out back is
just as good as ever. I do like the cable car connection from Dead Horse Point to Kane Creek and The Neck. Sure cuts down on the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway.

I must say they did a terrific job with that Maze Valley Of Ten Thousand Smokes Power Plant project. Who'd have guessed that you could drill 8000 feet straight down from the Maze Valley Of Ten Thousand Smokes and find all that oil? The only way you can tell the smokestacks from the hoodoos is the trail of smokes. Makes it look like Yellowstone, only prettier.

I like The Zephyr a helluva lot better since you stopped grousing 'round 2045 and finally accepted reality. It's nice to see you rollin' in dough and finally living in a wilderness resort mansion with the gorgeous view you deserve for having published the good ol' Z for so many years.

Let me know if you can get away for a summer hike in the high country. I drew number 703 for the Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness. I'm eager to try out the new Aspen-Crested Butte subway tunnel!

your long-time subscriber,
Evan Cantor
910 Miami Way
Front Range Incorporated Zone
CO 80305-0910-2219-Zone 37

"Thou hast seen nothing yet"
Don Quixote