The news is in – noise hurts.

“In recent years rigorous studies on the health consequences of noise have indicated that noise elevates heart rate, blood pressure, vasoconstriction and stress hormone levels, and increases risk for heart attacks. These reports prove that even when we’ve become mentally habituated to noise, the damage it does to our physiologies continues unchecked.”

Or so says George Prochni inThe New York Times in an op-ed piece regarding the dark side of what surrounds us 24/7.

Prochni is an advocate for silence. At least spates of quiet, the constant companion of our species throughout the eons. Until now. “The days when Thoreau could write of silence as ‘a universal refuge’ and ‘inviolable asylum’ are gone. With all our gadgetry punching up the volume at home, in entertainment zones and even places of worship, young people today often lack any haven for quiet.” Poetic, eh?

Next time you wander the aisles of your favorite super market, or sit strapped into the bucket of a dentist’s chair, or find yourself in one of America’s innumerable smokey bars (are there any smokey bars left out there?), listen up. Monsieur Prochni is onto something. You may think you’ve tuned out the constant crashing sounds of our uber-hip culture; but, of course, you haven’t.

The noise and the damage done….

posted by Mudd

As horrendous as the Deepwater Horizon oil blow-out appears to be, the Gulf Coast has been under severe threat for many moons.

“The wetlands in the Mississippi River delta have been shrinking at a rate of about one football field an hour for decades, deprived of sediment replenishment by levees in the river, divided by channels cut by oil companies and poisoned by farm runoff from upriver. Hurricanes Katrina and Rita took large, vicious bites.”

If a football field an hour seems unimaginable, it is.

The moral of the story? We are all complicit in the demise of America’s wilds. It has become too easy to blame corporate behemoths or government ineptitude for what ails our nation. It is ourselves who fuel the flames of our own destruction – our automobiles, electronic toys, eco-tourism, 3-D infatuation, worship of celebrity, ad infinitum.

It is as if the American Dream turned on itself, devouring what nutrients were to be found. And we are left to sort through the detritus of what remains of our consumer culture.

The oil spill is not the last word. After the media has exhausted its coverage and sped to another breaking story, the noxious reminder of our shortsightedness will linger, like the gaseous stench from a bloated roadkill. But we will make our choices, always with an eye on the immediate moment, and travel on, until the next time.

WIll we learn from the experience? Look to the past for the answer….

posted by Mudd

For those who insist on reducing the Pentagon’s budget, a blip of good news. Turns out, America might not be able to muster much of an army in the near future. And robots are cheap to feed and have no need for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

As the BBC News tells us – “Rising rates of obesity among young Americans could undermine the future of the US military, two retired generals have warned.” “More than a quarter of young Americans are now too fat to fight, they said.”

Of course, the generals know what’s best. They recommend “laws to give US children better nutrition in schools, with less sugar, salt and fat.” Here comes the food police.

Hope is not lost. Just when you thought the days of rebellion and dissent were a long gone wisp of memory, the specter of America’s next great Youth Revolt appears like a pair of halogen headlights in a Mississippi graveyard – The Transfat Tiraders!

Imagine legions of porky pubescents marching down America’s congested boulevards, their banners wafting in the polluted breeze, chanting in defense of unmitigated access to sugar, salt, bacon, and junk food. The imagery is enough to cause a spontaneous chocolate craving fit!

The Baby Boomers will understand this new wrinkle in youth’s eternal nonconformity streak. It’s in the blood (lipids). Part of our species’ innate tangle DNA (and BHT, MSG, NACL, and C(6)H(12)O(6)). The Wheel turns, same as it ever was. And America’s kids won’t take an assault on their entitlements sitting down. Make that standing up, sitting being the new national pastime for anyone too young to remember trees, shrubs, fireflies, bluebirds, and a good menacing thunderstorm.

The Boomers had their Jaggers, Lennons, Woodstocks, and Mary Jane. Now it’s another generation’s turn. As a kid from Dallas told Fox “News” recently, “Let them eat Whoppers!”

Let’s face it – we have not only met the enemy, but we like the guy. Monkeys are predictable critters. And the more monkeys per square foot, the more predictable they become. You can lead them to water, but they’ll rebel until you put Pepsi in their glass.

America’s generals will soon find themselves toiling in some other line of work. Perhaps leading armies of obese janitors along the beaches of Louisiana, picking oil from the branches of ancient oaks, a legacy of the spill from decades ago in 2010.

posted by Mudd

Want to send that pesky A.D.D packing? Take a hike!

According to a study published by The American Journal of Public Health:

“Objectives. We examined the impact of relatively ‘green’ or natural settings on attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) symptoms across diverse subpopulations of children.Conclusions.

Green outdoor settings appear to reduce ADHD symptoms in children across a wide range of individual, residential, and case characteristics.”

Another study, reported in The New York Times, claims – “The researchers found that a “dose of nature” worked as well or better than a dose of medication on the child’s ability to concentrate. What’s not clear is how long the nature effect can last.” [Solution: when it wears off, get another “dose of nature.”]

Don’t forget the sunscreen….

posted by Mudd

Good news for amphibians, jaguars, chimpanzees, toucans, elephants, whales, chipmunks, orchids, and assorted other critters; bad news for Homo erectus asphaltus – “As many as one in five healthy young men between the ages of 18 and 25 produce abnormal sperm counts. Even the sperm they do produce is often of poor quality.”

What’s going on here? Are we to believe that the “family jewels” have lost their luster? Could the human species be on the fast track to extinction?

According to The Independent [UK], one possible clue is that a “man who smokes typically reduces his sperm count by a modest 15 per cent or so, which is probably reversible if he quits. However, a man whose mother smoked during pregnancy has a fairly dramatic decrease in sperm counts of up to 40 per cent – which also tends to be irreversible.”

Good ole mom.

Another, perhaps more fun, reason for our sudden loss of viable squigglies is indicated by the results of a study, which found that “women who ate large amounts of beef during pregnancy, a diet rich in potentially damaging chemicals called polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs), had sons with relatively low sperm counts. But eating beef as an adult man shows no similar impact.”

Now the writing is clearly on the proverbial wall: If you seriously want to “save the planet” and see the Earth achieve that ever illusive quality we casually refer to as “sustainable,” there’s a simple path towards those lofty goals – smoke lots of cigarettes and eat more beef. Lots more.

The irony overwhelms – Marlboros and Big Macs to the rescue!

posted by Mudd

As reported in The New York Times – a couple of serious entrepreneurs in North Carolina are redefining what “farm to table” is all about. The twist, apparently missed by the erudite Times, is the refreshing absence of trendy “green-speak” from the article’s subjects.

Not only do our heroic farmers (recovering software wonks) grow local food for their local restaurant in Durham, they send their waiters out to work the farm one day a month. You have to appreciate a spiffy waiter with dirt under their nails.

And then there’s the farm’s other venue – a market. “Toward the end of the meal, diners will be handed a dessert menu and a market menu. Liked the pork chop and Russian kale? Take some home and cook them your way.” A feedback loop worth having.

Coon Rock’s philosophy? “It’s all a way to make people more connected to their food. I think that’s one of the biggest problems in civilization right now — no one is connected to their food anymore. If it comes from a window or in a bag, it’s not food.”

The moral of the story, if one is required, is this – saving the planet may be the lofty goal de jour, greenly wafting from every school kid’s lips as they dream of a perfectly sustainable tomorrow; but, the real work is (and always has been) a matter of locale. If local citizens can’t take care of their own yard, they sure as hell can’t “save the planet.”

The movers behind Coon Rock Farms gave up the corporate game to do something, pardon the pun, more sustainably satisfying. In a word, they dropped out to dig in. Traded data for dirt. And are having a fine time in the process. If their gambit turns out to be (here we go again) sustainable, Al Gore should hand over his Nobel Prize so they can melt it down into salt and pepper shakers.

Table for two!

posted by Mudd

This in from The Birmingham News – “Beavers have moved into a subdivision in Gardendale [Alabama] and are causing creek water to threaten homes.”

Nature bats last!

posted by Mudd

“Media. We love conflict. We love trauma. We love pictures of militia guys carrying guns. We love outrageous tea-party rhetoric. We love to scare ourselves—and the rest of the country—silly. We are doing a pretty effective job of it right now.”

Howard Fineman

As reported by MSNBC – “School lunches have been called many things, but a group of retired military officers is giving them a new label: national security threat.”

Perhaps those pesky corn dogs are potential weapons against the State, wielded by 5th graders aspiring to become tomorrow’s leaders of the Tea Party?

No – the retired military wonks believe “that school lunches have helped make the nation’s young people so fat that fewer of them can meet the military’s physical fitness standards, and recruitment is in jeopardy.”

pass the granola.

posted by Mudd

Just when it seemed American culture couldn’t get any sillier, along comes this word from CNSNews.com – “President Obama’s Environmental Protection Agency is encouraging the public to create video advertisements that explain why federal regulations are ‘important to everyone.'”

One can only wonder whether geeky kids across the fruited plains will rush for their parent’s video cameras with visions of showing off the effects of their teenaged hormones.

Let’s hope not. The EPA appears more than capable of illustrating how goofy government can become.

posted by Mudd