Talking to animals

There seems to be no end to Homo erectus asphaltus’ anthropocentric bias. Even the New York Times’ erudite writers are not immune to this rampant side-step in our strange evolutionary path. Take this fun pronouncement in an article entitled: “Deciphering the Chatter of Monkeys and Chimps” —

“…. monkeys have been around for 30 million years without saying a single sentence. Chimps, too, have nothing resembling language, though they shared a common ancestor with humans just five million years ago. What is it that has kept all other primates locked in the prison of their own thoughts?”

Locked in a prison of their own thoughts? How quaint. At least the writer acknowledges that monkeys think, a quantum leap in some circles. But only the hubris of our species’ Shakespearean world view is seriously stuck on whether monkeys are on the short end of the language stick. How about dolphins, whales, and mockingbirds? Or oak trees? Or Jimi Hendrix, for that matter?

As one White Lab Coat guy (the mysterious Dr. Zuberbühler) says. “There is nothing to talk about for a chimp because he has no interest in talking about it.”

To which the rest of Creation replies – “Horseshit, Herr Dr. Zuberbühler!” Of course, that translates into many dialects, depending on whether you’re into brachiation or not.

How tedious. I’m going outside to talk to my dog.

posted by Mudd