Just when it seemed there was a dearth of interesting “news” left out there, along comes this fabulous quote in the New York Times – “The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling “My Way” in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the ‘My Way Killings.'”

The “My Way Killings”?

Get this – “The killings have produced urban legends about the song and left Filipinos groping for answers. Are the killings the natural byproduct of the country’s culture of violence, drinking and machismo? Or is there something inherently sinister in the song?”

Go figure. I did it my way.

posted by Mudd

No wonder the Green Emperor appears more bare-assed than usual – he’s got the Environmental News Network to assist him in removing his renewable green threads. In a recent post, ENN informed its cheery readers that perhaps Malthus was wrong; that 9 billion Homo erectus asphaltus might not be that hard to feed after all.

The Neo-Green Revolution will not be televised. But it will be blogged to death.

And now, a word from our sponsors – who gives a rat’s ass if we can feed 9 billion iPod Monkeys? Is that the ecological touch down we’ve all been holding our breath for? Let’s hope not.

With a flair for the obvious, let’s repeat the mantra one more time – ecological health ain’t about numbers and calories. It’s about carrying capacity. And that includes a delicate dance between a theater full of diverse critters, some who don’t seem interested in the foibles of the Human Soap Opera one twit.

9 billion well-fed humanoids will continue to do what humanoids have always done (and are probably genetically programed to do) – stomp the shit out of the planet. Unless, of course, a Dictator and his armed robots decide otherwise. Not a rosy picture; and totally avoidable.

The Big Question is this – Once we feed the hordes, then what?

…. free condoms!

posted by Mudd

As reported in the DailyMail – “Researchers say that people who complain of boredom are more likely to die young, and that those who experienced ‘high levels’ of tedium are more than two-and-a-half times as likely to die from heart disease or stroke than those satisfied with their lot.”

No wonder I don’t feel good.

posted by Mudd

Holy Spam! MSNBC reports – “The saturated fat found mainly in meat and dairy products has a bad reputation, but a new analysis of published studies finds no clear link between people’s intake of saturated fat and their risk of developing heart disease.”

What next – brushing your teeth causes cavities? How about this one – exercise leads to early dementia? Hoho, this is getting crazier than 8 Spider monkeys on cocaine.

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger!

posted by Mudd

Men’s Journal reports: “Though the scientific debate is heated and far from resolved, there are multiple reports, mostly out of Europe’s premier research institutions, of cell-phone and PDA use being linked to ‘brain aging,’ brain damage, early-onset Alz heimer’s, senility, DNA damage, and even sperm die-offs (many men, after all, keep their cell phones in their pants pockets or attached at the hip).”

Oh, but, like, man, I reeely need my cell-phone!

“Interphone researchers reported in 2008 that after a decade of cell-phone use, the chance of getting a brain tumor—specifically on the side of the head where you use the phone—goes up as much as 40 percent for adults.”

Dial BR-549. Ask for Dr. Strangelove.

posted by Mudd

This in from Yahoo Finance/Fortune: “A report from the Congressional Budget Office shows that for the first time in 25 years, Social Security is taking in less in taxes than it is spending on benefits. Instead of helping to finance the rest of the government, as it has done for decades, our nation’s biggest social program needs help from the Treasury to keep benefit checks from bouncing — in other words, a taxpayer bailout.”

The Big Question – who’s gonna bail out the taxpayers?

posted by Mudd

As reported by The New York Times – “A senior Chinese official said on Thursday that China would not bow to pressure from the United States to revalue its currency, which President Obama says is kept at an artificially low level to give China an unfair advantage in selling its exports.”

Here’s what would’ve happened next in The New Mudd Times – “President Obama immediately held a nationally televised press conference where (without a tele-prompter) he explained the situation to the American people, then asked them to take a break from buying cheap Chinese crap.”

Alas – it appears Frederick Jackson Turner was right after all.

posted by Mudd

“A ‘dark side’ to the internet suggests a strong link between time spent surfing the web and depression, say psychologists. British scientists found that the longer people spent online, the less likely they were to be happy.” Or so says the Yorkshire Evening Post.

No wonder I’ve been down in the weeds lately.

I’m out of here.

posted by Mudd

Just what we’ve all been waiting for – “The Sichuan button is a small, yellow flower bud that, when eaten, creates a strong tingling sensation in the mouth — not unlike biting down on an iPhone — and a sudden increase in salivation.”

Did they say “biting down on an iPhone?”

According to Salon, “The full Sichuan button experience comes in three stages: first, a grassy taste, followed by a tingling and numbing sensation, then salivation, and, finally a fresh, clean finish.”

Hot damned, pass the soy sauce!

posted by Mudd

The New York Times reports – “The number of Americans who owed more than their homes were worth was virtually nil when the real estate collapse began in mid-2006, but by the third quarter of 2009, an estimated 4.5 million homeowners had reached the critical threshold, with their home’s value dropping below 75 percent of the mortgage balance.”

It gets worse….. “They are stretched, aggrieved and restless. With figures released last week showing that the real estate market was stalling again, their numbers are now projected to climb to a peak of 5.1 million by June — about 10 percent of all Americans with mortgages.”

Of course, one answer is to take a hike and leave it with the bank. Which is happening more often than folks want to admit.

Another answer comes in a nifty slick finish, complete with satellite TV and a microwave oven – The Airstream! Step into a Flying Cloud and leave your cookie cutter neighborhood behind. Vagabonding never looked so good.

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Though the streams are swollen
Keep them dogies rollin’……

Rawhide: a whole new meaning in the Dimformation Age.

posted by Mudd