Breaking news for all you sports fans. Yes, there is a small glimmer of hope for America. Perhaps one kilowatt. And it comes to us from the green grass of a football field in St. Joseph, Mo. So what if the grass sucks valuable drinking water and the stadium lights cause 1 ounce of carbon gas to scour the atmosphere? What happened on that field makes the rest of American sports look like a gangster movie.

Here’s the spin – with seconds left on the clock, and losing 46 to nothing, Benton High’s coach obviously experienced a flash of genius and approached his opponents with an ingenious request: Forgo a shut-out in order for one of Benton’s running backs, Matt Ziesel, to make a run for a taste of glory. Crazy? Of course. But it worked.

Matt has Down Syndrome. And he runs fast as hell!

“It’s not necessarily about winning or losing,” said McCamy, a second-year coach who played college football at Missouri. “Obviously up in Maryville we lost the game. The end result, we lost the game, but when we went away, we were all kind of winners.”

Final score – Maryville 46, Benton 6.

posted by Mudd

Just in case you’ve been wondering about your dog’s inner life, the mind behind the mask, so to speak, the White Lab Coat guys have a treat for you! Pack your doggie bags and head to the Duke Canine Cognition Center for some fun and relaxation, as an erudite team of cognitive canine specialists peer into the deep recesses of Fido’s mind.

According to the Pooch Probing Problem Solvers, “The DCCC will be enrolling pet dogs to participate in fun problem-solving experiments that the dogs will enjoy. Experiments will be starting in March/April.”

And, for more on the subject of why your dog might be smarter than your neighbors, don’t miss this piece in Time online.

(oopoop)@U = [barking at’cha]

posted by Mudd

If you’ve been planning that long-awaited trek Way Down Underneath (Australia), here’s some exciting news from the New York Times: “It’s estimated that there are between 4 million and 12 million feral cats in Australia, the progeny of former house cats. Just in the Kimberley — a region of northwestern Australia that is about the size of California — feral cats are eating as many as 300 million small mammals, especially small nocturnal marsupials, a year.”

The result of such an invasion? “Scientists surveying native mammals in northern Australia, widely regarded as an oasis of biodiversity, report that they are finding it almost impossible to catch native mammals.” [NYT]

Is this just another example of Big Stupid Human Tricks? Of course it is.

G’day!

posted by Mudd

While everybody’s attention is riveted to the handful of bills aimed at “health insurance reform” (formerly known as health care reform), it’s heartening to note that the people calling themselves the U.S. Senate have managed to have some fun with the debate.

“The Friday 5 p.m. deadline has passed for filing amendments to the health care legislation in the Senate Finance Committee, and aides to Senator Max Baucus have finished tallying them: 543 in all, from both Democrats and Republicans.”

And just when you thought it was safe to say “I’ve read the entire Senate bill and, by God, I know what’s in it!”

Perhaps it’s safe to say that by the time the folks in Washington get through mashing the various pieces of legislation together, nobody will have the faintest notion of what’s actually in the final bill. Which is about par for the course. For as Cactus Ed once said, “One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork.”

Here’s to your health!

posted by Mudd

Ever wonder why some folks have a thing for taxing stuff? From cigarettes to Budweiser to your drinking water, it’s all about floating a government of diminishing returns.

And now they want to go after soda pop because it makes people fat.

Of course, everything edible has the potential to expand the ole waistline. How about simply taxing calories? Then only skinny people could afford SUVs, which would be taxed at the highest rate.

Or better yet – Why not quit subsidizing industrial agribusiness and let real farmers put real food on America’s table.

Pass the cornbread.

posted by Mudd

The New York Times strikes again! Think Old McDonald is in control of the farm? Think again….

“Agricultural runoff is the single largest source of water pollution in the nation’s rivers and streams, according to the E.P.A.”

And just to drive the point a little closer to home – “An estimated 19.5 million Americans fall ill each year from waterborne parasites, viruses or bacteria, including those stemming from human and animal waste, according to a study published last year in the scientific journal Reviews of Environmental Contamination and Toxicology.”

Perhaps one answer is to gather up the mountains of cow dung out yonder in heartland America, bag it, and send a few pounds to every member of Congress. Reduce, reuse, recycle……

posted by Mudd

Every now and then the New York Times does something interesting. Depending on what you think is interesting. On a typical day (which aren’t that typical), the Big Apple paper runs a technophilic blog called Dot Earth, who’s motto is “Nine billion people. One planet.” In line with most neo-green ideologues, it pretty much rehashes the general consensus where all things anthropocentric are concerned.

But a recent installment of Dot Earth caught your intrepid blogger’s eye. It had this headline: “Are Condoms the Ultimate Green Technology?”

Without belaboring the finer points of the piece’s brief foray into the adverse effects of unwanted births on carbon emissions, here’s a fun tidbit – “U.N. data suggest that meeting unmet need for family planning would reduce unintended births by 72 per cent, reducing projected world population in 2050 by half a billion to 8.64 billion.”

If you thought 7 billion Homo erectus asphaltus was a few too many, maybe this line of reasoning falls a hair short. But it illustrates the extent of the problem: every human being added to the planet has an impact on the environment (carbon being only one of those impacts). The end result is, to misquote Bob Marley, “Very bad, mon.”

At least the Times is willing to raise the proverbial question. Which is more than most mainstream environmental groups are doing. But as long as the Green argument remains focused on addressing one issue at a time via technological fixes, the game gets closer to zero sum. Even if that fix involves carbon skid marks.

As a final note: one commenter on Dot Earth suggested that, at least in Iran, the widespread introduction of television was instrumental in reducing the birth rate. As loath as I am to suggest the Boob Tube as an answer to our dilemma, there’s always Netflix!

Pass the remote control….

posted by Mudd

Here’s one to ponder for all True Blue Greens: Would you risk getting your ass beat to stop a solar power plant?

Perhaps the question is phrased crudely. So what? You’re going to be hearing a lot about industrial solar farms in upcoming months/years, so let’s dive in now and have some fun. Like the cute Girl Scouts said, “Be prepared.” Or was that Alfred E. Neuman?

You might’ve missed the High Country News piece on Jim Harvey and his zeal for the Mojave Desert. He’s a man who doesn’t mince words, nor should he. Jim knows something “bogus” when he sees it. “These big solar companies,” Harvey concludes, “they’re no different from big oil or coal.”

Yup – ole Jim took a hard look at the industrialization of America’s bogus renewable energy plans and decided to follow Ed Abbey’s admonition that “A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.” So, in the spirit of Don Quixote, he formed the National Alliance for Sensible Energy Policy.

Perhaps the coolest thing about Harvey, besides his 20/20 vision, is his attitude towards mainstream enviro-groups willing to compromise desert habitat for the renewable energy de jour.

He calls them “envirocrats”.

Touché!

posted by Mudd

While most of the known world is freaking out over global warming (can we call it that anymore?), a sneakier assault on the planet’s fragile ecosystems is happening right under our noses. What once was a simple matter of a few hillbillies dumping their garbage on the side of the road has now morphed into a demonic plot to dispose of toxic trash. Some of it nuclear.

This from the BBC– “A shipwreck apparently containing toxic waste is being investigated by authorities in Italy amid claims that it was deliberately sunk by the mafia. An informant from the Calabrian mafia said the ship was one of a number he blew up as part of an illegal operation to bypass laws on toxic waste disposal.”

And to make it add a touch of zest to the dish: “For years there have been rumours that the mafia was sinking ships with nuclear and other waste on board, as part of a money-making racket.”

Perhaps recycling hasn’t caught on in Italy yet……..

posted by Mudd

Good golly Miss Molly – just when you thought it was safe to make that long-awaited trip to Carl Hiaasen’s sunny Florida, there’s news weird enough to stop a drunk hornet.

“In an case of real life imitating Hollywood, the US scientific community is increasingly concerned that two nonnative python breeds currently slithering free in south Florida could morph into a giant man-eating swamp coil.” [Christian Science Monitor]

What would Walt Disney do?

posted by Mudd